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About Varied / Hobbyist Member Arthemea. For the time-being.Female/Philippines Recent Activity
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Too Good For Words by fear-the-brillianceFavorite Stamp by Ravechu

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Don't know how soon. I'm just planning on it.
  • Mood: Tired
this new deviantart format is confusing me
okay what happened with deviantart


Update: GLOB, I SUCK
  • Mood: Tired

    It was a Saturday night. It was so dark outside. It was past my bedtime but I was still wide awake. I was staying up late because I was waiting for my older brother to come home. I was browsing my social media accounts to past time.

    Moments later, I heard the sound of a tricycle and our gate opening. At first, I thought it was my brother. When I took a harder look while I was standing in front of the screen door, it was my aunt.

    I went back to using the computer after greeting her. She went inside the bedroom where my mom was. She went out of the room wearing different clothes. She was wearing plain clothes. I thought she was ready to sleep.

    Suddenly, there was a panic between my mom and my aunt. I didn’t understand what the blazes was going on at first. I was ignoring the world because I was focusing on things popping up on my dash in Facebook and Tumblr.

    Then, I saw my aunt getting dressed to the clothes she wore when she came here. I asked her what was going on but I didn’t think she answered me. Maybe she did answer me but I did not understand her because she was in a hurry. She went outside quickly and got in the car of my uncle who lived next door.

    During that night, I was being an easy-going teenager because I was tired. I woke up early in the morning that day because I, together with my brother, attended a seminar as a preparation for the Sacrament of Confirmation. After the seminar, my brother and I headed to my school for a Scouting event. My brother felt sickly but he managed it. I was moody but I managed it.

    My mom would kick me out of the computer from time to time during that night. I didn’t know why exactly. But, I knew there was a problem going on with my family. I didn’t bother to get involved because I thought the adults should be the only ones to handle it. I just went with the flow and did what I was told.

    When my mom finally turned off her television and went to sleep, I thought nothing terrible was going on or maybe the problem was already handled and taken care of. I also thought that I could finally enjoy using the computer at peace, without any disturbance and whatsoever. I was mistaken.

    After some minutes, my mom with a gloomy face and a messed-up hair came out of the bedroom while holding her red and black phone that used to belong to me. She somewhat surprised me because she suddenly popped out of nowhere while I was concentrating on reading stuff from the internet. But what really surprised me, what really struck me the most, were the words that came out of her mouth.

    I sensed there was grief when she said, “Your uncle is dead.”

    Those four words shuttered my world. It felt like the world stopped revolving and time stopped moving. My mom needed to use the computer again so I moved away. I improperly sat on a foldable chair while hugging my legs. I was pondering so deeply. It was all so sudden. I felt confused and so broken because once again, I was dumbfounded by a tragic death of a family member.

    After a short while, my mom went back to her room and tried to get some sleep. As for me, I didn’t know what to do anymore. I didn’t know if I should continue on using the computer or if I should head to bed and get some shuteye. I kept my tears away. I didn’t want my eyes to sting and go all red.

    I wanted to tell somebody about what happened. I wanted to share it to just one person to shed off some of the frustration. I saw my schoolmate was online and asked her if I could talk to her outside. She lived next door and she agreed to talk to me.

    I opened the wooden door and the screen door to get outside. I climbed onto the metal bars. She was standing on a couch and was holding onto brown bamboos that served as a wall. The thin metal bars and the wall of bamboos separated our houses.

    She asked me what I wanted to talk about. I hesitated but I went straight to the point just like what my mom did. It was hard for me to say it because it was painful but I said it. I said, “My uncle just died. That’s what mom just told me before I sent you a message. I don’t know how. My mom is asleep now.”

    My friend got confused and was surprised. From the expression of her face, I knew she couldn’t believe it. She didn’t want to accept it just as I would. She even kept asking me if I was sure and how it could have happened.

         She met my uncle several times and practically was a niece to him. She knew how caring and nice my uncle was so when we went to school on Monday, she told the story to a few of my friends. She did that so my friends wouldn’t bother me and so that they would look out for me. I didn’t know about her plan at first but I was okay with it when I found out. I barely spoke to anyone that day. I wanted to be alone and to try to figure things out so I tried my best to isolate myself from them. I could sense my friends felt sorry for me. I didn’t know how I was going to tell my friends how I felt and what had happened because I know that before I could even say a word, I would burst into tears.

    As the days went by, I felt a little better. However, it was still hard for me to fully accept what had happened because ever since the death of my grandmother, I was torn by the dreadful truth that all life must come to an end and that end is just actually a mere part of life. 

    After about two weeks, my uncle’s birthday came. It also happened to be the birthday of one of my closest classmates. Everyone was celebrating her birthday and, of course, I had to celebrate it too. It was a fun day. She had three birthday cakes. She invited me over to her house to eat food and when I got there, my other classmates were there. We played games noisily. I felt so alive. But deep down inside, I knew I was sad because instead of celebrating two birthdays, I had to celebrate only one. I knew my friends were aware about this because when I was sitting with them quietly, they found me in tears. I didn’t realize I was crying until the birthday girl said my name gently. I wiped my tears and smiled at her, telling her that she didn’t need to worry about me.

    Accepting a tragedy and moving on had always been hard for me and this could be seen when I finally opened up to my classmates. I only opened up to them on the month of February. It was during our Retreat. With a microphone just a few meters away from lips, I spoke in front of all of them. I told them why I was quiet and sad for two straight days and why I suddenly disappeared on a Wednesday. I told them that it was hard for me to accept a tragedy so I didn’t tell them sooner.  I told them the short moments I had with my uncle before he passed away.

    I saw one significant face in the crowd and it was my seatmate in the classroom at school. His mouth was wide open and he looked so shocked. I was crying while I was saying my speech. I was shaking and felt like I was going to faint. I held on tighter to the microphone while my throat was becoming sore and my eyes were filling up with tears.

    The last statement I told them is the statement I repeatedly tell myself whenever I feel like giving up. It’s the statement that serves as one of the reasons why I am still alive and persevering.

    The last statement I told them was part of what I said to my uncle during his funeral.

    “When I was standing near his coffin, I was crying my eyes out and said, ‘I will try to be a better person for you.’”

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PlainWeird
Arthemea. For the time-being.
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
Philippines



I appreciate all support :D by Timesplitter92.: Read the comments :. Stamp by Beti-KotReply Comments Stamp by Mirz123active watchers by zaz14ispottermadI :heart: my watchers Stamp. by jugga-lizzleI love my watchers by tRiBaLmArKiNgSstamp by alwaslgirlRandom Kind Comment Stamp by Mirz123Forget Stuff Stamp + PLZ by Mirz123Glasses Stamp by NurseRabsJust A Little Bit by British-ProphetessMARVEL Stamp by TwilightProwlerparamore stamp by josephhaubertdark knight stamp by josephhaubertStamp: Avatar Fan by avatar-fanI play by DarkShad00wPokemon Stamp by WetWithRainNationality Stamp -Philippines by MissBezzVacation Stamp by blackmoonrose13Quite An Adventure! by British-ProphetessMmm Cookies Stamp by MrAwesomeArtistI Eat Chocolate Stamp by TheChocolateClubI Love Music by fear-the-brillianceThree Important Things by British-ProphetessCreavity Is My Freedom by British-ProphetessBe True To Yourself by British-ProphetessPositive Thinking Stamp by cjqueen76Time Well Spent Stamp by Fischy-Kari-chanstamp by YacioPeace... by phillipantJesus Stamp by SuperSonicGirl79135I Wish I Came Up With That by fear-the-brillianceBe Kind by fear-the-brillianceNot the Only One by fear-the-brillianceDefine Yourself :Stamp: by Circe-BakaDifferent by fear-the-brillianceBeing Nice Makes Me Happy Stmp by Mirz123Typo by fear-the-brillianceSuper Powers Stamp by fear-the-brillianceBetter in my head by fear-the-brillianceMove Things With Mind by fear-the-brillianceUndo Button by fear-the-brillianceType With Mind by fear-the-brillianceIf normal was the goal..Stamp by OhmachidaiTime Well Spent Stamp by Fischy-Kari-chanLearning English -animated- Stamp by Fischy-Kari-chanI Love my Characters by MissLunaRoseAuthor Angels Stamp by mirz-altImagine while listening by Fellmekke


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Don't know how soon. I'm just planning on it.
  • Mood: Tired

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:iconienzo628:
ienzo628 Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Thanks for the llama.
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:iconmayvine:
Mayvine Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the fav.
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:iconsellenimonie:
sellenimonie Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2014  Student
thank you for the fave :)
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:icontulf42:
tulf42 Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for badging back!
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:iconlezwrite:
LezWrite Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2014  Hobbyist
Thanks for the watch!
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marjorie1206 Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2014
Thanks for faving :)
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:iconaivilo3261:
Aivilo3261 Featured By Owner May 29, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the favourite on my poem! Bunny Emoji-30 (I'm cute) [V2] 
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:iconwhiteplumfragrance:
WhitePlumFragrance Featured By Owner May 28, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the fav my dear. :cry:
(love the webcam, clem is the best)
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:iconschlafundatemlos:
SchlafundAtemlos Featured By Owner May 27, 2014
Thank you so much!! (:
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Scarlet-Wings-Kaili Featured By Owner May 25, 2014  Student
May this :llama: serve you well on your artistic journey! 
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:iconsexxystrawberry:
SexxyStrawberry Featured By Owner May 23, 2014  Student Writer
Thnx for the fave
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:iconmoricca:
Moricca Featured By Owner May 22, 2014
Thank you for the favorite, it means something to me :)
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rechutka Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2014
Thank you for the fav!:)
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Heikimo Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the fav Thanks for the Fav 
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pilandok Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:llama: back at ya, thanks for the :llama: too
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BellaGBear Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for aaaalllll the favourites :D You are a hero :glomp:
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not-an-emo-girl942 Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the :+fav:!
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MomentousGoomba39 Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Thank's for the :llama:!! Lovely Shoujo Emoji (Huggy Hug) [V2] 
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:iconbellagbear:
BellaGBear Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the favouriete :) If you loved my poetry you should also check out the rest of my gallery: bellagbear.deviantart.com/gall… I would really appreciate it
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Somberx Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2014
Thank you for the watch! :) Means a lot
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akai-yari Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
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:iconsexxystrawberry:
SexxyStrawberry Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Student Writer
Thnx for the watch
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:iconmilk-and-pie:
Milk-and-Pie Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the fav! Neko Emoji-28 (Yay sho happy) [V2] 
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SweetlyC Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the fav friend!! :D
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thysilverdoe Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2014  Professional Writer
Thank you for the :+fav:. :)
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